This Rollercoaster Ride

I'm en route to work on the downtown W train, awaiting the Prince Street stop. Blue Jean Baby is playing on my ipod, and I am chugging a Vitamin Water “Energy”, to make up for the lack of sleep I got last night. Bino kept me up all night, he likes to rest his little head right on top of my bladder, so uncomfortable for mommy! So, I had about five bathroom breaks from 10PM to 730AM, which is when my alarm went off. My heartburn has eased up, thankfully after a long drawn out process with my doctor. Heartburn is the most uncomfortable feeling, the worst thing I've experienced so far during my pregnancy, I know ladies, I haven't given birth yet, but heartburn is no joke! Everything you eat or drink, crawls back up your esophagus, and burns you like a shot of warm tequila. When I was in Texas I met with my delivery doctor, and he gave me samples of a super strong pill for this problem, I took it everyday and never looked back. That is until I ran out, and asked my doctor here in New York if she would kindly write me a prescription for it, because it worked so well. She had an issue with this, as she does with every other question I have for her. You see, I no longer meet with Dr. White, she moved to Rhode Island because of her husbands job. I am now stuck with Dr. Feldman, a poorly made up, grumpy, and negative lady who in my opinion should not be dealing with ladies with babies. Anyways, she refused to give me the Protonix-the meds my sweet southern doctor gave me for the heartburn. So I'm taking Zantac, and its working for the most part. The point is she wouldn't give it to me, and that drives me crazy. She drives me crazy! It all goes back the accent, also, her tone of voice is rude, she doesn't seem happy with her job, and is never excited about anything. At my past appointment with her, she was reading my baby’s heartbeat, and asked me if I could hear it, I couldn't. So I said to her curiously, "No, do you...?" She said back in a not so nice way, "Yeah I do. That's why I'm asking you!" Ok biatch! Excuse me! Who's paying who here?


Dr. Feldman also tried to diagnose me with, Preeclampsia a condition characterized by pregnancy, induced by high blood pressure, (which I have, but I'm convinced its only because she is such a psychopath and she makes me extremely nervous) protein in the urine, and intense swelling of the feet. Again, I work on my feet for 8.5 hours a day, and I'm carrying a child, my feet are going to swell either way. To determine if I did in fact have this so called “condition”, she demanded that I have about seven different vials of blood drawn, and for me to do a "24 hour urine test". Yay! Shortly after my blood was drawn, my nurse came in a handed me a burnt orange jug, about the size of a 3 liter bottle of water and instructed me to urinate each time into the jug for 24 hours, and I was also given strict instructions to keep the pee refrigerated, to prevent bacteria from growing in it. How beautiful is that?! Pregnancy truly is a magical thing, but it definitely has its ups and downs. I work in Bloomingdale's, we do not have private bathrooms for employees, we share with the customers. They wanted me to carry this jug-o-pee on the train, into work, and take it back and forth with me each time used the restroom? I’m expecting, I pee every half hour! I am super clumsy now that Im preg's, what if I spilled the jug on the train, and pee went flying! Ahh!! I of course followed their instructions, better to be safe than sorry when it comes to baby, but this did not make it any less embarrassing for me. Like I said before, my co-workers see this as a joke, and were laughing at the fact that I had to urinate into this creepy orange plastic jug. Angela, who I work with, is an exception, she has been so wonderful, so supportive and understanding throughout this time, I love her. She was there to witness the Feldman drama, and totally had my back. She's going to be such a good mommy someday. Anyways, Dr. F and told me IF I did in fact have protein in my urine, and my blood work came back positive, then I'd have to be on meds, and I would need to see a specialist weekly for this problem. Lovely! More things I have to worry about, and pay for! Luckily in the end, she was wrong, and all is well with me and my pee! I am now certain that she is the solely the reason for my high blood pressure.

Today I'm on the verge of tears, my hormones are out of control. I wish I could have stayed in my comfy bed watching Lifetime all day. Instead I have to go out, and face this mean city I live in. Being pregs’ in New York makes all of the side effects a billion times more difficult, I would never wish this upon anyone. In Texas, by all means have babies, where you can relax and enjoy yourself. Also, I’m really not sure if I can handle hearing the obnoxious New Yorker accent anymore, to me its like nails down a chalk board, not to mention dealing with crazy women who speak to me in this accent, and don't know what they want. I sometimes feel like I should just tell them the truth, "Sorry lady, you'll never look like me, I'm 22, and this brush will not dust away your wrinkles. Next customer please.." I know I should be more positive during this but I think I'm allowed to get a little nuts, I have the best excuse off all...I'm pregnant! Something good came out of today, I felt the baby kick for the first time, and I was SO excited! It made me sad though, because I was sitting down at work by myself and I had no one to share the moment with. My first reaction was to jump out of my chair and tell someone, so I ran over and told Eddie, my precious little friend who works for Crème De La Mer. He is equally as happy about this baby as I am, Its so cute, he's always concerned about me being on my feet for too long. He tells me, in his Guatemalan accent, "Sit down! Why you standing!" I adore him. He always tells baby how handsome he's going to be, and every morning he comes over and says to me, "You look so pregnant today", and smiles. (He knows how happy this makes me) I’m lucky to have him.

Another good thing, (I suppose it’s a good thing) that happened recently is that A called me yesterday, about mid afternoon. I was off of work, and just showered, I was wearing my pink robe, and was online paying doctors bills. He answered in his usual monotone voice, "Hey Houston, what's up?" What's up? You wanna’ know "what's up?" What the f us up is that I'm having a baby, and you're the father! I so badly wanted to say that, but I was calm, with him you have to be, A is not a normal human being, he’s a child, a guy, and an extremely immature one. So, I responded casually that I was doing well. He asked how I was feeling, and if the baby was still a boy. No actually its a girl now, his genitals changed over night! Can you believe that?! Yes moron, its still a boy! I told him that I am 5 months now, that my belly's getting bigger, and when my next appointment is. He also asked when the baby was due, I informed him, "February 13th! A month before you!" He said, "cool, I'll call you next week." Great. Thanks for the caring phone call. I truly think he was trying to be nice, and sort of acted like he cared about my life, but from the way he's acted in the past, its hard not to fear for him to react that way to me again. People give me advice all the time on how to be with him, how to act, and how to treat him. The advice I'd like to give them is this right here: go out, buy the book What To Expect When You're Expecting, and read the chapter on "Unwanted Advice". Its a real thing we experience during pregnancy, and its amazing how true it is. Before, when I dreamed of having a baby, I thought I'd take all of the help I could get, turns out I don't care if you think I should try and have lunch with him, and I especially don't need anyone to tell me how to deal with him. Put yourself in my shoes, and think about how you would react.