Beauty is Pain

Tomorrow was supposed to be one of the most important moments in my make up carrier in New York . However, after a disturbing phone call I received from my boss two hours ago, I was told the event was today, instead of tomorrow, which means, I missed it. Apparently the people I work with are complete morons and can't seem to get their shit together. The event was going to be held at The Crosby Street Hotel in Soho. Bobbi picked five artist from the New York City area, I was one of them, to do make up for five beauty editors from Conde’ Nast Publications. I was thrilled, and honored to be chosen, not only because I was going to be doing make up with Bobbi herself, (one of my biggest dreams since I was a little girl), but also because the amount of press that was going to be at this event was unbelievable. I thought this would be the perfect exit plan out of New York, and would fit beautifully on my resume.

So, I was in the middle of a makeup application, and my boss calls to inform me that they got the dates mixed up, and that the women had been waiting at the hotel since 3:30, and were rushing over now, to our store, (all 5 of them) expecting the full make over's we promised them. A typical application can take up to an hour, per person. There were 3 of us working at the counter today. I rushed through my current appointment, with little time to clean brushes and organize my life before they got there. I put my head up, and I was greeted by five pleasantly plump-divalicious English women, complete with extravagant hair and over the top outfits. They told me they only had 10 min for each face..HA! Sorry darling, an app takes a minimum of 45 min. This isn't a magic wand I’m holding! Anyways, me, Bonnie, and Lindsey all banged out 5 faces of evening glam for these demanding women. I, of course got the pickiest of them all, checking in the mirror every two seconds, saying, "Ok lovely dear, looks pa-fect, but are you going to fix that spot there" (in her heavy english accent). Yes LADY cool it! Meanwhile my baby is kicking his feet as hard as possible on my tiny bladder, I almost lost it. I had to stay focused, breathe in, breathe out. Her name was Anna Belle, and was apparently really close with Bobbi, and I over heard her saying that she was going to be seeing her right after, which meant her make up had to be flawless. Her hair was done in a towering beehive, which she shared with me she had done by a "ravishing Italian lady at Fekkai". Impressive. She told me she wanted to look exactly like Twiggy. Easy, one of my favorite stars to replicate. Half and hour later, we were done, she looked amazing, luckily tipped me, and walked out smiling, my business card in hand-in hopes of her spreading my name to Bob’s.

         

Somehow the three of us managed to pull it off. I guess it wasn't meant to be, I have gotten to work with her in the past, and I’m fortunate for those experiences. So, no big paparazzi event for me, no doing make up in a line with Bobbi, no picture, no letter, I held back my tears, cleaned up the area and headed home. I’m sure there was a reason for this, just a little unclear to me at this point. Whatevs, looking forward to more relaxing days in my future. Thanks for letting me vent.

XOXO

Houston

14 Weeks To Go!

Dear Baby,

You have been apart of me for twenty-six weeks now, and I'm starting to feel like this is all really happening. Your baby shower is all planned, I'm signed up for birthing classes, and I'm even planning your first outfit that you'll wear. I'm ready to hold you and look into your eyes, and tell you how much I love you. The other day we had a little scare with you..the doctors told me that there may be something wrong with your little heart, and that they wanted me to do an Amniocentesis in order to determine the problem. Dr. Easterlin, a new doctor I have been seeing, told me that they saw a white spot in your heart that they were concerned about, she told me it could be one of two things. In the best case, you had a small calcium build up, that is totally normal and would go away after birth. The second one was much scarier, and had mommy very confused. Dr. Easterlin informed me that babies that have Down Syndrome, also have the same white spot in their heart. She was very short and to the point, I felt hopeless and terrified. I was balling in her office, and she just looked at me, with no answers to my questions. I had a small panic attack, and tried to collect myself and my thoughts. The Amnio had major side effects that I wasn't willing to risk, so I choose not to take that route. My second option was to do an EFI Scan, which checks the heart in close detail, this option had no side effects, so naturally I went with this. I scheduled an appointment for the scan, and tried to keep my composure. I told both of my moms, Jame' and Jennifer, and my Uncle David, I didn't want too many people to know, because I was scared and didn't feel like getting probed by a million people with questions that I can't answer, like: Well what are you going to do?! Really? I have NO idea, I'm freaking out, I'm going to do what the doctors tell me to do. I didn't sleep for four days. On the day of the appointment, Uncle D and I went back to Dr. Fanz at St. Vincent's Med Center. He first did a fetal growth scan, and the results for that were beautiful, we got to see you in 4-D, and like every time I see you on the screen, I am blown away by the sight of you, and how perfect you are. You're face has filled out, nice and plump just like mommy was as a baby, and you have hair! They told me that you are growing fast, and they predict you to be super tall just like your daddy.

Then came the EFI Scan, I wasn't ready, my hands were shaking, my heart was pounding, and I could feel a layer of cold sweat covering my body. The sonogram started, and right away he zoomed in on your heart, not even five seconds later he looked at me and Uncle D, smiled and said, "Perfect heart, nothing wrong with this baby." We looked at each other, raised our eyebrows, shrugged our shoulders, and looked back at Dr. Fanz. He was already back to the 4-D pictures, telling us to get out our phones and snap some shots of them for a keep sake. We both asked him nervously, so there's no white spot? He's fine?? "He's beautiful, nothing to worry about." Ok, great! Amazing!!!! That's it? My baby's fine?? Ok. So, Doctor, it was probably just a calcium deposit right? Right, he's fine Ms. Puryear seriously, you have nothing to worry about. Ok, ok....thank you! I wiped the jelly from the sonogram off of my round belly, grabbed my things and walked out. Pfew!!!!!! I could breathe and sleep again! My world had stopped for a few days, I was mentally preparing to deal with the idea of having a child with DS. I'm strong, but not that strong. I guess if that was the case, I would deal with it, and of course love him unconditionally, but I didn't know how to feel or what to do, all I knew was to keep telling you that I loved you, and that no matter what happened, we were going to be ok.

I was right, we are fine, we are better than fine, were perfect, you are safe and sound just swimming around inside of me, what a great life you have. We have three more months until your big debut, and what a party that will be! Can't wait to meet you little one.

Love,

Mommy

A Short Goodbye

I have reached the end of my journey here in this crazy city, and for some reason I don't feel the way I expected to. I didn't think I would feel any bit of sadness, or feel weird to leave a place that I have so harshly judged, but I do. I will miss all of the amazing people I have met and built relationships with. I don't know what I'll do without Lauren, my precious little Jewish American Princess, who I first started working at Bobbi with. We had some of the best times together, especially those late nights at Schiller's on the Lower East Side macking on the bartenders. Lauren is the epitome of an East Coast Diva, and I love her for it. I recently was in the hospital because I was having pre-term labor contractions, she happened to be in the neighborhood and came to the hospital with me. She was hung-over and hadn't eaten all day, but she stayed by my side the entire time, and didn't complain once. I was so proud of her. I will also miss Lindsey Jones and Denise dearly, who loved me through my hormonal rage fits. LJ is coming to Texas to visit me and my little bino in the Spring, which I am very much looking forward to. Denise was like a mother to me in these past six months, always there to accommodate my needs, and was always praying for me and the babe. And of course, how could I forget my sweet Angela, who attended numerous doctors appointments with me and always made sure I was eating enough broccoli.

As for the city, I don't know how to explain it, but there's something about New York that one can't help but love, and I thought I'd be the last person on earth to tell you this but there's just something about its energy that I’m really going to miss. I will miss being able to be so selfish and push my way through people just because I was running late, that's kind of awesome in a way, and wouldn't be acceptable in any other state. I'll miss the changes in weather, right now the foliage is beautiful, the air is cool and crisp, in Texas there are no seasons. I‘ll miss Central Park, that was really the only place I could find peace of mind, well there and Barney’s of course.

I’ll miss knowing everything I want is at my fingertips, and I’m curious to see how I will adapt in the Texas life style. I must say I am proud of myself for toughing it out for two and a half years, I cant think of one person who could have done and accomplished what I did while living here. I think everyone should get “The New York Experience”, it teaches you just about everything you need to know about life, and how to get through it. I am a more knowledgeable and appreciative human being, and will always remember New York and every lesson that it taught me.

I quickly put my head up on the train, and notice the peoples faces around me, they look sad and miserable, and I am taken back to reality, for the most part I want out, and I want to be the smiling/happy/bronze/Texan that I once was. In just twenty three days my feet will touch southern ground, and I’ll be back to the old me, just a smarter, more well rounded, mature version of me. I cant believe the day has finally come! So cheers to you New York, I'll miss you....sort of.